My Cup Overflows

I came from a broken, dysfunctional family.  Statistically I should be an unwed mother on welfare.  But God in His love and mercy, called me out of darkness and into His wonderful light.  My testimony isn't anything flashy, but it's mine.  I had two best friends in middle school who loved me and prayed for me.  I asked Jesus into my heart at 14 and was baptized months later.  From then until now is a long story, but mainly I want to talk about how God has made my life abundant even though I don't deserve it, and this abundant life is for everyone.  I think most girls, as they're growing up, have a picture in their head of what their life will be like in the future; what kind of husband they want, how many children they'll have and what kind of home you'll live in.  I'm sure I did, though I don't remember giving it much thought.  I don't suppose I had much hope seeing the kinds of things I'd seen.  But as time goes on, I'm seeing more and more how God has blessed my obedience to Him with "a good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over."  I have the best husband in the world for me.  He is also a great dad, provider, and treats me how I've always wanted to be treated.  God not only gave me the desire of my heart concerning the characteristics of my husband, He exceded it!  When I was a teenager, twin boys were something I wanted one day when I got married.  And while I didn't have twins, I have two sons that are 13 months apart, so it's close enough!  Again, God gave me the desire of my heart, and then exceded it.  What a great God we have!  Trust in Him and be obedient to His word and He will give you the desires of your heart and then some!     

Tomato Cauliflower Bake

This is another good vegetarian meal/side I found on allrecipes.com  If you've never heard of allrecipes.com, it's a good website to use because if you have an ingredient or two and you need ideas on what to do with them, you can type in those ingredients and they will tell you all kinds of recipes that you can make with those ingredients.  All you need for this recipe is cauliflower, romas, swiss cheese, butter, salt, and pepper.  Heat your oven to 350 degrees.  Cook the cauliflower in the microwave with a little bit of water for about 5 minutes or until firm.  Put the cauliflower in a casserole dish with a little bit of butter, a little salt, and some pepper.  Then top with sliced tomotoes and cheese.  Bake for about 20 minutes.  I use a lot less butter and salt but of course the more you add the better it tastes.  : )  It would probably be good with garlic powder and oregano too.  Give it a try!

Chapter 2: The Blessedness of Possessing Nothing

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven -Matthew 5:3
"The way to deeper knowledge of God is through the lonely valleys of soul poverty and abnegation of all things.  The blessed ones who possess the Kingdom are they who have repudiated every external thing and have rooted from their hearts all sense of possessing.  These are the "poor in spirit."  They have reached an inward state paralleling the outward circumstances of the common beggar in the streets of Jerusalem; that is what the word "poor" as Christ used it actually mean.  These blessed poor are no longer slaves to the tyranny of things.  They have broken the yoke of the oppressor; and this they have done not by fighting but by surrendering.  Though free from all sense of possessing, they yet possess all things.  "Theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Chapter 1: Following Hard After God

I've started reading A. W. Tozer's "The Pursuit of God."  There is some good stuff in it and I'll be sharing periodically!  Here is an excerpt from chapter one:
Everything is made to center upon the initial act of "accepting" Christ (a term, incidentally, which is not found in the Bible) and we are not expected thereafter to crave any further revelation of God to our souls.  We have been snared in the coils of a spurious logic which insists that if we have found Him we need no more seek Him...The stiff and wooden quality about our religious lives is a result of our lack of holy desire.  Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth.  Acute desire must be present or there will be no manifestation of Christ to His people.  He waits to be wanted.  Too bad that with many of us He waits so long, so very lon, in vain.  Every age has its own characteristics.  Right now we are in an age of religious complexity.  The simplicity which is in Christ is rarely found among us.  In its stead are programs, methods, organizations and a world of nervous activities which occupy time and attention but can never satisfy the longing of the heart. 

Eat Your Veggies!

Who would have thought that I would become a border-line vegetarian?  But these last few months I've decided to give it a try for my health.  And it's worked out great.  I still eat meat on occasion, but I don't miss meat at all and I can live without it just fine.  Most vegetarian recipes I make myself but I tried this Dole Salad Kit and it was so good I had to share it.  It is spinach, dried cherries, sliced almonds, bleu cheese crumbles, and white balsamic vinegar dressing.  Very tasty, give it a try!

Review of Eat To Live by Joel Furhman

Anyone who wants to loose weight, eat healthy, or feel healthy should read this book.  I've read through this book twice now, and it's a wealth of common-sense information that unfortunately most people don't want to hear.  I originally bought this book because I wanted to loose weight, but I read through it again because I wanted to eat as healthy as I can and feel good.  I've lost about 50 pounds in the last 3 years(it took me that long because I had two babies in that time).  I have had lots of people ask me what my secret was to my weight loose.  Sorry, but there is no "secret."  When I would tell them I lost the weight by eating healthy and exercising, they would get this sad look on their face like, "Oh, you went about it the RIGHT way, call me when you've found that magic pill."  It's really quite simple: eat vegetables, beans, fruits, nuts, and avoid meat, dairy, and processed sugars.  But the book isn't about being vegan, it's about putting the MOST healthy things into your body that you can, mainly vegetables.  People often use the excuse of expense to not eat healthy.  But meat and cheese, which are a huge part of the average Americans diet, are expensive.  And when you look at the fact that fruits and veges are full of protein that will fill you up faster and keep you full longer, it's probably actually cheaper to eat healthy. Too many people in this country are sick from totally preventable ailments and diseases, this book should be in the hands of every American so they can get out of their ignorance and choose to eat to live!

Fall Wreath

Wreaths are so expensive to buy, so I've decided to make my own!  For this one, I bought a wire round base, then wrapped and hot-glued brown ribbon around it.  I used fabric leaves and mums and hot-glued them on.  It was very easy and fun!

"Tea-Party Downgrade???!"

There has been a whole lot of tea-party bashing and I'm sick of it.  I've been to a tea-party rally, tea-partiers are generally good, working-class people who want lower taxes and less government and more freedom!  So get ready for a rant.  Senator John Kerry called our nation's credit rating downgrade a "Tea-party downgrade" because they wouldn't compromise with the Democrats on what they wanted in the debt deal.  This is such a load of garbage.  The White House, Democrats, and news media defy logic and reason and flat out lie to people when they report this.  We got downgraded because we spend money that we don't have and don't seem to give a thought to how we're going to pay it back!  The CBO(congressional budget office) told the Obama administration that we needed to cut at least 4 trillion to not get downgraded--that advise was ignored.  As far as I've heard, Obama's only idea during the whole debt debate was to raise taxes on the rich because they don't pay their "fare share."  Another load of garbage.  The rich already pay a lot in taxes, plus they buy lots of stuff and employ people, so if you tax them more, then they won't buy things or hire people.  Duh.  Even lots of Americans are complaining that the rich didn't get taxed, but those are probably the almost 50% of Americans who don't pay taxes anyway(everyone pays taxes initially in their paycheck, but then they get it back for their tax return, for those of you how don't believe there are people who don't pay taxes).    Also, getting back to my point, the tea-party and republicans gave in and compromised plenty by letting Obama take the country even more into debt--if the Tea Party had it's way, it would have bee Cut, Cap, and Balance(look it up, maybe if we can get a good President next time around we can get it into place) which the Senate wouldn't even read and the president promised to veto.  The world is laughing at us and we have been humbled.  I personally think we deserve it because there are way too many pampered, spoiled, entitled brats in this country.  So don't believe the media's trashing of the Tea Party-they aren't the ones who got us into this mess, but hopefully they will be the ones to help lead us out!

Chapter 21

This chapter contains letters that Mr. Pearle wrote to his sons and Mrs. Pearle wrote to her daughters.  Here are some good excerpts from Mr. Pearle's letter:

"Be sure to cultivate your relationship with your wife.  Meet her needs.  Make her happy.  Her state of mind is going to be 50% of your children's example, and 100% when you are not there.  If you will love and cherish your wife, the children will love and cherish her also.  If you are a servant to her, your example will translate to their experience."

"Don't marry a lazy, slothful girl.  Beauty can get mighty old lying up in bed, framed in a disheveled, griping, slothful pout.  Whatever you do, avoid a lazy girl.  If she expects to be waited on, let her marry a waiter.  You will have a full job rearing the children without having to rear a wife."

"Don't put yourself in an occupational position that will leave you out of position to be a good father.  If you gain the whole world and lose your child's soul, what profit is it?  Some workaholics will say they are doing it for their children-providing security, a good education, etc.  Why is it that the children of hard-working, absent fathers never appreciate their sacrifice, and even show disdain and contempt for their father's success?  The reason is that children are not fooled.  They understand their father's absence to be selfishness on his part and lack of interest in them.  They see their father getting more satisfaction from his job than from their presence.  Whether this be true or not, the results are the same."

"The modern concept of "quality" time as opposed to "quantity," is a salve for the consciences of modern parents thoroughly wrapped up in worldy pursuits.  A scheduled hour of clinical-like attention makes your "quality time" nothing more than the fulfillment of a business appointment-a therapy session.   Your best time together will be that which is spent in real struggles to achieve common goals.  A child will build self-worth, not by being the center of attention in idle chatter, but by actually conquering a real-world need-putting up a mail box, cutting the grass, etc."

"As soon as your first child is born, begin your role as father.  Relieve your tired wife for a couple of hours a day by taking the infant and attending to all his needs.  When I was newly married, I expected my wife to be a "super" woman.  I soon learned that if she were going to last through several more childbirths-and, that in good spirits-she was going to need a lot of support.  Treat your wife as a delicate flower, and she will "bloom" with energy to be a more giving mother."

Chapter 19: Homeschool makes no fools

The Pearls have very strong views on homeschooling, and that is that it's the only option.  This is an interesting chapter and I encourage you to read it.  It will probably step on some toes, especially if you are a teacher.  Although I think homeschooling is the best option, it isn't an option for everyone.  I know many people, myself included who made it through public school generally unscathed.  Pearle calls public school, "automaton factories," and I think this can be true, but that's why parents need to be extremely involved in what their children are learning in school and what kinds of things they are learning from their friends.  Learning should start in the home!  And it is not the teacher's responsibility to teach your children manners and morality.  If homeschooling isn't an option, pray for your children's minds, and pray that God would give you wisdom to raise them in our increasingly nasty world.  And finally, trust God and his ability to "see them through" public school without becoming an 'automaton.'  I made it through public school and some college and I have my own thoughts, and they definately aren't mainstream!  : P

Chapter 17: "Religious Whips"

"Never use God to threaten or intimidate your child into compliance."  This is a short chapter that discusses parents that use God to make their children be obedient and why it is wrong.  I don't have much to add to what Pearle already says so I'll just quote a lot of what he says.  "If you constrain a child by threatening him with divine displeasure, he will come to hate God and will throw off religion as soon as he is old enough for independent action.  You are causing the child to associate God with condemnation and rejection."  Pearle goes on to give examples: at summer camp his fellow campers were punished for rowdy behavior by being made to sit and read the bible for several hours, he comments on their "weary surly expressions."  He also warns parents not to use your family "devotional time" as a way to settle disputes or bring up wrongdoings.  Pearle also notes a mother who makes her children look up bible verses for punishment.  "Give them exercises of looking up verses on patience, love, faithfulness, and so forth, but don't do it as a response to their failure in some area.  If they should have weaknesses that demand instruction, wait until the pressure and condemnation is off before giving them a study that involves their weakness.  When the instruction about God is separate from your discipline, they are free to make an application or association without feeling watched and graded.  Otherwise you will end up with children working for God's approval, as well as yours, instead of enjoying the peace of God which passes all understanding." 

Chapter 15: Training in Self-Indulgence

There has been a lot of tv segments and internet articles over the last year or two about indulging our children.  They ask questions like, "is it good to give our children everything they want?", or "is it right to give a child a trophy just for participating?"  Well, duh!  They answer is no!  In this chapter, Pearle says, "I have sadly observed many children being trained in the art of selfish indulgence by their parents' readiness to shower them with tinsel and fluff.  A child raised with commercial gadgets heaped upon his lusts is much more prone to be envious and covetous than the poor child who finds satisfaction in the simple things of life.  (I've seen several examples of this in real life and in movies, The Count of Monte Cristo is a great example)!  The child who grows up deprived of nothing is greatly handicapped in real life.  Never consider your affluence to be an davantage to your children.  It is a handicap for which you must compensate.  Examine carefully and prayerfully Jesus' words regarding the disadvantages of the rich."
Mark 4:19 "but the worries of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful."
Luke 12:15 "Beware and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions."
I Timothy 6:6-10 & 17-19 "But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment.  For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either.  If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content.  But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil,  and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.  Instuct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy.  Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed."
This chapter and these verses probably step on some toes.  Our indulgent and pampered society is a big reason why our country is in the shape it is in today.  I'm all for "enjoying the fruits of your labor," but do it within your means.

Review of 20 Years Younger by Bob Greene

I listened to this as an audio book on my Kindle so the actual book might be a little bit different.  This book is about looking and feeling 20 years younger through diet, exercise, skin care, and sleeping.  While my reasoning for getting the book was to see what he had to say about eating and exercise, what I got the most out of it was the section on skin care.  He has a dermatologist go into a lot of detail about how to best take care of your skin and what you can do for different skin issues.   It was good hearing what he had to say about diet and exercise--it helps me to stay on track with trying to eat healthy and exercise at least a few times a week.  : )  This book is different from other "health" books because he not only tells you what to eat and how to exercise, he tells you WHY you should eat certain things and what different exercises will do for your body.  It goes into lots of scientific details.  He also has a website, 20yearsyounger.com where you can sign up for a free 30 day trial and get lots of recipes and exercise plans.  I'm thinking about trying it out! 

Chapter 12: Child Labor

This chapter is about training your children to work and be helpful around the house.  And you can start at a very early age!  "When a child is old enough to take a toy out of the box, he is old enough to put it back."  Easier said than done of course, we're still working on it.  : )  Isn't it weird how we have no problem getting something out that we want but then we don't want to take the time and effort to put it away, even as adults?  Our 19 month old is pretty much trained to put his toys away, but I don't think he enjoys it very much.  : )  It takes him about 1 minute to get his toys out but 15 minutes to put them away.  The Pearl's daughter, Shalom Brand, wrote an article called "Team Player" in the NGJ magazine.  In it she suggested ways to get your toddler to be you little helper, which is what they enjoy doing anyway.  When I come home from the grocery store, our son would like to get into my bags and take the food out.  I used to tell him "no" and make him go in the other room, but now I hand him items that he can carry and let him put them away in the refrigerator.  He likes it and it makes him feel good about himself when we tell him he's a good boy for helping mommy put up the groceries.  It might seem like work now, but it will pay off later!

Chapter 11: Potty Untraining

"On a missionary trip to Central America, we were amazed by the practice of the primitive Maya Indians in not diapering their babies prior to stuffing them into a carrying pouch.  Their infants were all potty trained.  After experimenting on our own, and after further observation, we discovered that infants are born with an aversion to going in their "nests."  Parents here in the states "untrain" them by forcing them to become accustomed to going in their "clothes."  A child instinctively protests a bowel movement: He kicks, stiffens, and complains."

In this chapter, the Pearls discuss how they got their last two children potty trained while still under the age of 1!  They could tell when the baby was going to the bathroom so they would say "poo-poo" or whatever you want to call it so that the baby would associate the word with the action they were doing.  I'm amazed that they were really able to make this work at such a young age.  Good for them, they must have a lot of time and patience!  I've been doing this with my now 19 month old for 3 or 4 months with moderate success.  I put him on the potty at the same times everyday and 90% of the time he goes, but only because I put him there, he won't/can't tell me that he has to go.  Pearle says that babies instinctively don't like to be in a soiled diaper, but mine sure don't seem to mind!  : )  I would love to hear any potty training advice from people can give me!

Chapter 9: Beggars Can't Be Choosers

This is a good section from the book: "A child should NEVER whine or beg.  This is an easy habit to break.  Never reward a beggar, and the begging will go away.  In our house, the one sure way of not getting your desire was to beg or whine.  We went out of our way to not reward a begging child.  You may envision such a rule being enforced in your house producing a chorus of constant wailings of injustice. The very thought of it may  make you feel like a tyrant.  If you gave it a try, being 90% consistent, you would not be satisfied with the results.  If a child ever gets his way through begging or whining, he will try it ten more times until it works again.  But, if his experience of begging proves to be counterproductive, he will soon stop wasting his energy in fruitless whining.  When beggars can't choose, they choose not to beg."

Review: My Bondage and My Freedom

This book was written by Frederick Douglass in the 1800's during slavery in America.  It is the account of his life as a slave from childhood to when he esacped around the age of thirty.  I wanted to read this book because it is a 'classic' and thought it would make me smarter by reading it.  : )  By I soon discovered I was in for more than I'd bargained for as I read chapter after chapter of the horrors of slavery.  I remember glancing at the subject of slavery in school, but not really diving into the subject.  As I read through the book I kept thinking, "this is America's Holocaust."  Only slavery lasted for over 200 years!  Douglass' stories of beatings, rape, and outright murder were heart-wrenching, but the part that made me the most sick over slavery is what it did to the family--the backbone of society, and the human soul, all while the "church" condoned this evil. 

"This is American slavery; no marriage--no education--the light of the gospel shut out from the dark mind of the bondman--and he forbidden by law to learn to read.  If a mother shall teach her children to read, the law in Louisiana proclaims that she may be hanged by the neck.  If the father attempts to give his son a knowledge of letters, he may be punished by the whip in one instance, and in another be killed, at the discretion of the court.  Three millions of people shut out from the light of knowledge!  It is easy for you to conceive the evil that must result from such a state of things." 

It is truly an act of God that somewhere along the way Douglass found the true gospel and believed it! And God used him in mighty ways!  

If you're like me and can't afford Spanx....

After having my second baby I'd really been wanting to try some Spanx, but they're only affordable for the rich and famous.  Fortunately, the same maker came out with a line that the average person can buy.  I tried them out and they work great!  They're called Assets and you can buy them on-line and in some stores.  The pair I bought runs from my rib cage down to just above my knee.  I didn't find them to be uncomfortable like some other brands, and everything was held snuggly in place.  : ) 

The Little Black Book

This is THE most disgusting thing I've ever read, and they handed it out to teenagers!  I realize this was just in Massachusetts, but if parents aren't involved in what's going on in their children's schools, your child could be bringing home this filth next.

http://www.massresistance.org/docs/issues/black_book/black_book_inside.html#top

Meet the GOP Contenders

CNN hosted last night's Republican presidentian debate.  Though I wouldn't call it a debate--it was very polite, and actually fun to watch.  It was my first time hearing many of them speak, I enjoyed hearing what Michele Bachman and Newt Gingrich had to say.  Even though I don't think he has a chance at the nomination, Ron Paul stuck out the most to me.  If you want to know anything about Ron Paul, it's that if it's not in the Constitution, the government should not have their hand in it.  Take "policing the world" and Medicare/Social Security for example.  Paul doesn't think we should have any of our military in any other countries--unless we're getting paid for it.  For example: does anybody know why we're in Libya??  I thought Obama and his hippie friends were anti-war??  And it can't be because we are humanitarians and are helping end Gadhafi's rule, otherwise why aren't we in places like Haiti, helping rebuild their country and protecting the thousands of woman who are getting raped in those tent cities?  Why aren't we policing the abominable sex-trade that is going on in several countries?  Why aren't we marching into North Korea to free those brain-washed, starved people who can't even leave their own town with the government's permission?!  And why are we protecting borders in the Middle East but not our own border between us and Mexico!!?    Last week in an interview Paul was asked what should be done about the sick and the elderly since he doesn't believe the government should fund things like Medicare.  He said it should be the church's responsibility.  He's the only politician that I've ever heard say that and I think he's exactly right.  No matter who our next president is, one man/woman is not the answer to our nation's problems, they won't be able to fix them all.  But we do have the answers to all of the nation's problems AND all of life's problems; and they are found in the bible and in Jesus.  The bible says that we need to treat others as we would want to be treated, and to care for the widow and the orphans.  I believe if Christians tithed the way we are supposed to, the church would have enough money to deal with our nation's social issues.  But because of the church's lack of faith and obedience, the government has stepped in and has instituted unsustainable programs like medicare and social security.  I'm calling on the CHURCH, to step up and step out in faith and obedience to God.  Don't rely on politicians for change, we must be "co-workers with God."

Chapter 6: Applying the Rod

"A spanking is made effective, not by its severity, but by its certainty.  Your CALM dignity will set the stage to make it more effective."  Spanking should never be used to vent your anger, but I think that's exactly what most parents do, which is why there are so many spanking abolitionists out there.  Parents "go through a warm-up of exercise of threats and increasing irritation until their anger generates a will to retaliate against the child.  What follows is an altercation, not Biblical chastisement."  Never use your hands for spanking.  As Pearle says, "hands are for loving, not martial arts."  Once a child is old enough to understand, the rod should be followed by reproof-an explanation of why the behavior was unacceptable and what he should do in the future.  "The rod and reproof give wisdom."  Proverbs 29:15. 

I have only been a parent for a year and a half, but there have already been a couple of "road blocks" on the road of child training.  The first one being my fear that spanking my son would make him not like me.  This couldn't be further from the truth I am happy to say.  Our son is happy, smart, obedient, and loves his mommy and daddy!  The second is other people's opinions.  Due to generations of people being belted or spanked in rages from their parents, spanking has got a bad rap.  I remember when we were first training our son to be obedient when we told him "no."  He really liked messing with plug-ins and electrical cords, which is dangerous of course.  We would tell him no and slap his hand with a small ruler.  Soon he learned to obey well and when people would ask us why he listens so well we would tell them because we've trained him by swatting his hand and people would say things like, "oh, you don't spank that poor baby, do you??"  So then I would feel really guilty.  But if we didn't bother training him and let him touch whatever he wanted and become a nuisance by having to tell him "no" over and over again, people would judge us on that too.  So for lack of a better term, I felt "damned if I do, and damned if I don't"!!  Thankfully, I think I'm about to the point where I don't care what people think anymore about the spanking issue because proof is in the pudding!  : )

Chapter 5: The Rod

Many parents today, even christian parents, think that spanking is cruel and unusual punishment.  Most likely because they had bad experiences with spankings as a child (probably due to inconsistent, angry discipline of the part of their parents), the media and child pysichiatrists tell us it "damages the child's self-esteem", or the parent "loves their child too much to spank them."  But the bible says, "He who spares the rod HATES his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him."  Proverbs 13:24. 
-Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.  Proverbs 19:18
-Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.  Proverbs 22:15
-Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.  Punish him with the rod and save him soul from death.  Proverbs 23:13-14.
-The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.  Proverbs 29:15  (how many kids do you know who are "left to himself" in the name of being a "free spirit")!
-Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.  Proverbs 29:17.
I understand why people came from miles around to hear the wisdom of Solomon!  God is our parent, and we are the parents of these little souls that He entrusts to us.  Therefore, we need to parent our children as God "parents" us.  When we have an attitude/behavior or sin that God wants to work out in us, He doesn't give us a hug and a cookie and hope that we'll grow out of it, He trains and disciplines so we can be free of those behaviors, and often times this can be difficult and painful.  "The Lord disciplines those He loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.  Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons.  For what son is not disciplined by his father?  If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons."  Hebrews 12:6-8.

Chapter 4: Tying Strings

Ephesians 6:4 says, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."  This chapter is about the bonds or "strings" that members of a family share: love, respect, honor; and what to do if those strings get cut.  "Parent, if you are having problems with your children, you can be certain that you are not alone.  Your children are also having problems with you.  Since you are the more experienced of the two, and since God didn't say, "Children, train up your parents," the responsibility for making a significant change is completely yours."  -Michael Pearl.   If you feel the strings of fellowship with your child has been cut, first humble yourself and ask their forgiveness, than Pearl suggests a few things: Look at your children with pleasure and smile at them, enjoy their company and demonstrate it by inviting them to go with you when the only reson is a desire to have them with you, sit on the floor and play, take them on outings of adventure, let them lead you out to the yard to show off their latest stunt, build something together.  Mothers, teach your children to do everything that must be done in the house and make it fun. Fathers, involve your sons in the manly role of protector and provider and brag on their achievements.

Chapter 3: Parental Anger

Do you ever get angry at your children?  Most parents wait to discipline their children until the irritation builds into anger, and this is confusing for a child.  This is why training for immediate obedience is so important, for the child and for you!  It's easier said than done, of course.  But it's so much easier to train and discipline at the first offense instead of telling your child to do something over and over again until you have steam coming out of your ears! 

Chapter 2: Childish Nature

The chapter begins with a story of a mother struggling with her toddler to sit still during church.  The child is fussy and making angry noises as his mother tries to get him to sit still so he won't disturb others.  Pearl asks, "What is the driving force in this child, and how can it be conquered?"  Humans begin life in innocent self-centeredness, but it is the foundation of sin so it must be dealt with.  It's hard to believe those cute little bundles of joy can learn to manipulate their surroundings to get what they want, but they sure figure it out quickly!  I remember when I was pregnant with my first baby and I read all of the books that woman read while pregnant.  And 99% of them tell woman that when their baby cries they should pick it up immediately because otherwise it won't bond with you.  This didn't seem right to me, so I was thankful when I discovered the book, "My First 300 Babies," by Gladys West Hendrick (another book I recommend).  Going along the lines with training out the self-centeredness, she talks about how families are told that they need to acclimate to the baby's schedule but in reality, the baby needs to acclimate to the family's schedule---THANK YOU!!!  We had no idea what we were doing when we brought our first baby home, and I've found it such a relief that we've discovered the "secret" that you CAN train your children to be blessings from the moment you bring them home and don't have to wait until they reach the "Terrible Two's"! (which I'm confident will be non-existent in our children, praise the Lord)!

Chapter 1

I want to encourage everyone to read this book.  It has hundreds of bad marks on Amazon.com, but I think those people probably didn't even read the book...  If there are things in the book you don't like, then just take what you can from the book and leave the rest.  As Mr. Pearls says, by the grace of God and through the simple, biblical principles and with determiniation and an open heart, you can train up children who bring you joy and honor.  I hear a lot from people who say that babies can not be trained.  I dissagree.  We have an 18-month old and around 10 months old, I knew that he understood the word, "no" and certain other commands.  Training at such a young age is necessary to eliminate the need for disicpline later.  Two things we've used frequently from this chapter are giving commands in a normal voice, and NOT child-proofing our home.  Mr Pearls says, "If you raise your voice when giving a command to your child, he will learn to associate your tone and sound level with your intention.  If you have trained him to respond to a bellow, don't blame him if he ignores your first 13 calm "suggestions" while waiting for your fevered pitch to reach the point where he interprets it to be a real command."  This is hard to do of course, especially when you're frustrated.  It also goes along with the, "I'm going to count to 3 and then you're getting a spanking!"  I hate it when parents do that, it trains the child that they have three more seconds that they can be disobedient!!  : )  On training not to touch, Mr. Pearl gives a great analogy of the Garden of Eden.  When God wanted to "train" Adam and Eve, he didn't put the forbidden tree up on a shelf or back in the corner of the garden where it's out of sight, He put it right in the middle, where they would see it and be tempted by it.  When you child-proof the home, the child is lead to believe that the only objects that are off-limits are the ones that are out of reach.  This becomes a problem when you're at someone else's home, the grocery store, etc.  When our son was about 11 months old, he just couldn't keep his hands away from the light sockets, of which we have many in our house.  The first time he tried to touch it we told him "no."  Then every time after that if he went to touch it we swatted his hand.  It did take him several days to get the picture, but now we can leave the room with the assuarnce that he won't be sticking his finger in the light socket!