Chapter 19: Homeschool makes no fools

The Pearls have very strong views on homeschooling, and that is that it's the only option.  This is an interesting chapter and I encourage you to read it.  It will probably step on some toes, especially if you are a teacher.  Although I think homeschooling is the best option, it isn't an option for everyone.  I know many people, myself included who made it through public school generally unscathed.  Pearle calls public school, "automaton factories," and I think this can be true, but that's why parents need to be extremely involved in what their children are learning in school and what kinds of things they are learning from their friends.  Learning should start in the home!  And it is not the teacher's responsibility to teach your children manners and morality.  If homeschooling isn't an option, pray for your children's minds, and pray that God would give you wisdom to raise them in our increasingly nasty world.  And finally, trust God and his ability to "see them through" public school without becoming an 'automaton.'  I made it through public school and some college and I have my own thoughts, and they definately aren't mainstream!  : P

Chapter 17: "Religious Whips"

"Never use God to threaten or intimidate your child into compliance."  This is a short chapter that discusses parents that use God to make their children be obedient and why it is wrong.  I don't have much to add to what Pearle already says so I'll just quote a lot of what he says.  "If you constrain a child by threatening him with divine displeasure, he will come to hate God and will throw off religion as soon as he is old enough for independent action.  You are causing the child to associate God with condemnation and rejection."  Pearle goes on to give examples: at summer camp his fellow campers were punished for rowdy behavior by being made to sit and read the bible for several hours, he comments on their "weary surly expressions."  He also warns parents not to use your family "devotional time" as a way to settle disputes or bring up wrongdoings.  Pearle also notes a mother who makes her children look up bible verses for punishment.  "Give them exercises of looking up verses on patience, love, faithfulness, and so forth, but don't do it as a response to their failure in some area.  If they should have weaknesses that demand instruction, wait until the pressure and condemnation is off before giving them a study that involves their weakness.  When the instruction about God is separate from your discipline, they are free to make an application or association without feeling watched and graded.  Otherwise you will end up with children working for God's approval, as well as yours, instead of enjoying the peace of God which passes all understanding." 

Chapter 15: Training in Self-Indulgence

There has been a lot of tv segments and internet articles over the last year or two about indulging our children.  They ask questions like, "is it good to give our children everything they want?", or "is it right to give a child a trophy just for participating?"  Well, duh!  They answer is no!  In this chapter, Pearle says, "I have sadly observed many children being trained in the art of selfish indulgence by their parents' readiness to shower them with tinsel and fluff.  A child raised with commercial gadgets heaped upon his lusts is much more prone to be envious and covetous than the poor child who finds satisfaction in the simple things of life.  (I've seen several examples of this in real life and in movies, The Count of Monte Cristo is a great example)!  The child who grows up deprived of nothing is greatly handicapped in real life.  Never consider your affluence to be an davantage to your children.  It is a handicap for which you must compensate.  Examine carefully and prayerfully Jesus' words regarding the disadvantages of the rich."
Mark 4:19 "but the worries of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful."
Luke 12:15 "Beware and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions."
I Timothy 6:6-10 & 17-19 "But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment.  For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either.  If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content.  But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil,  and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.  Instuct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy.  Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed."
This chapter and these verses probably step on some toes.  Our indulgent and pampered society is a big reason why our country is in the shape it is in today.  I'm all for "enjoying the fruits of your labor," but do it within your means.

Review of 20 Years Younger by Bob Greene

I listened to this as an audio book on my Kindle so the actual book might be a little bit different.  This book is about looking and feeling 20 years younger through diet, exercise, skin care, and sleeping.  While my reasoning for getting the book was to see what he had to say about eating and exercise, what I got the most out of it was the section on skin care.  He has a dermatologist go into a lot of detail about how to best take care of your skin and what you can do for different skin issues.   It was good hearing what he had to say about diet and exercise--it helps me to stay on track with trying to eat healthy and exercise at least a few times a week.  : )  This book is different from other "health" books because he not only tells you what to eat and how to exercise, he tells you WHY you should eat certain things and what different exercises will do for your body.  It goes into lots of scientific details.  He also has a website, 20yearsyounger.com where you can sign up for a free 30 day trial and get lots of recipes and exercise plans.  I'm thinking about trying it out! 

Chapter 12: Child Labor

This chapter is about training your children to work and be helpful around the house.  And you can start at a very early age!  "When a child is old enough to take a toy out of the box, he is old enough to put it back."  Easier said than done of course, we're still working on it.  : )  Isn't it weird how we have no problem getting something out that we want but then we don't want to take the time and effort to put it away, even as adults?  Our 19 month old is pretty much trained to put his toys away, but I don't think he enjoys it very much.  : )  It takes him about 1 minute to get his toys out but 15 minutes to put them away.  The Pearl's daughter, Shalom Brand, wrote an article called "Team Player" in the NGJ magazine.  In it she suggested ways to get your toddler to be you little helper, which is what they enjoy doing anyway.  When I come home from the grocery store, our son would like to get into my bags and take the food out.  I used to tell him "no" and make him go in the other room, but now I hand him items that he can carry and let him put them away in the refrigerator.  He likes it and it makes him feel good about himself when we tell him he's a good boy for helping mommy put up the groceries.  It might seem like work now, but it will pay off later!

Chapter 11: Potty Untraining

"On a missionary trip to Central America, we were amazed by the practice of the primitive Maya Indians in not diapering their babies prior to stuffing them into a carrying pouch.  Their infants were all potty trained.  After experimenting on our own, and after further observation, we discovered that infants are born with an aversion to going in their "nests."  Parents here in the states "untrain" them by forcing them to become accustomed to going in their "clothes."  A child instinctively protests a bowel movement: He kicks, stiffens, and complains."

In this chapter, the Pearls discuss how they got their last two children potty trained while still under the age of 1!  They could tell when the baby was going to the bathroom so they would say "poo-poo" or whatever you want to call it so that the baby would associate the word with the action they were doing.  I'm amazed that they were really able to make this work at such a young age.  Good for them, they must have a lot of time and patience!  I've been doing this with my now 19 month old for 3 or 4 months with moderate success.  I put him on the potty at the same times everyday and 90% of the time he goes, but only because I put him there, he won't/can't tell me that he has to go.  Pearle says that babies instinctively don't like to be in a soiled diaper, but mine sure don't seem to mind!  : )  I would love to hear any potty training advice from people can give me!