Chapter 17: "Religious Whips"

"Never use God to threaten or intimidate your child into compliance."  This is a short chapter that discusses parents that use God to make their children be obedient and why it is wrong.  I don't have much to add to what Pearle already says so I'll just quote a lot of what he says.  "If you constrain a child by threatening him with divine displeasure, he will come to hate God and will throw off religion as soon as he is old enough for independent action.  You are causing the child to associate God with condemnation and rejection."  Pearle goes on to give examples: at summer camp his fellow campers were punished for rowdy behavior by being made to sit and read the bible for several hours, he comments on their "weary surly expressions."  He also warns parents not to use your family "devotional time" as a way to settle disputes or bring up wrongdoings.  Pearle also notes a mother who makes her children look up bible verses for punishment.  "Give them exercises of looking up verses on patience, love, faithfulness, and so forth, but don't do it as a response to their failure in some area.  If they should have weaknesses that demand instruction, wait until the pressure and condemnation is off before giving them a study that involves their weakness.  When the instruction about God is separate from your discipline, they are free to make an application or association without feeling watched and graded.  Otherwise you will end up with children working for God's approval, as well as yours, instead of enjoying the peace of God which passes all understanding."